Friday, September 6, 2019

I got a New Judge!

A lot has happened in the last few months since my last update. Most notably, the corrupt judge, David Rosen, is no longer on my case. I've been to court at least once a month since this case began in attempts to get to see my babies and hopefully get them away from their abusive father. I still have not seen them since my one 4 hour visit in mid April. The last time I went to court in Chatsworth, Rosen was not there. We were sent to a different judge in the same courthouse who denied my requests and granted my abuser Jason's request for me to only have professionally supervised visits. The next week, I got a letter in the mail from the court saying that the Supervising judge had decided that we would be getting a new judge. It was the best letter I had ever received from the court, and I believe it was a complete act of God! On August 29th, we went to court to have our new judge assigned. We were then sent to the new courthouse for calendaring. The judge looked at the many hearings we had scheduled and asked why we didn't just go to trial. We agreed, and trial was set for October 18th and 21st. The judge originally wanted to have trial on September 30th, but Steven Chroman, the lying lawyer, claimed he had trials all around that time. When the Judge asked him what trial he had on September 30th, his excuse then changed to it's Rosh Hashanah. When the judge asked what trial he had on October 1st, he said well, I need more time to prepare for this trial. Had it been the old corrupt judge, he wouldn't have even questioned him and would have just accepted his lie that he had trials. But, from this judge questioning his statement, his lie was exposed. The judge didn't acknowledge that he lied, so hopefully there's a record.

I had previously asked for the attorney to be sanctioned for committing perjury, and this was on Calendar for an upcoming hearing. In retaliation, he requested that I be held in contempt for not returning the kids last year in June. Supposedly, it was Jason who was requesting this. Yes, a whole year later and conveniently after I asked for the attorney to be sanctioned. The new judge asked what the contempt request was about and it was clear he thought it was ridiculous. He asked if they would consider dropping it so it didn't prolong our case. He mentioned how we would be dealing with the same issues at trial. The criminal Steven went outside with Jason to talk it over and came back and said that Jason agreed to drop it without prejudice. Now, we all know it was Steven who wanted those charges and it had nothing to do with Jason. I mean, Jason is an abuser and evil, but what does he know about contempt? I thought it was all comical, their whole show of talking it over and attempting to do what's best for the case. The same case they've been dragging their feet on. The same case that the attorney was now attempting to get a trial date for as late as possible. Oh, the kicker, the attorney was pushing very hard to get the trial on October 22nd. That was the best date for him, he claimed. October 22nd happens to be my birthday. Unfortunately for them, I also have a mandatory event to attend on that date. I know quite well when the event was scheduled, because I wasn't happy about it being scheduled on my birthday. So, instead, the trial is set to wrap up the day before my birthday. What an awesome birthday gift that would be!

I can't wait to be divorced from Jason. I've been attempting to have this divorce done so I could not be legally bound to my abuser anymore. I've even told Jason's attorney that Jason could keep all the property that he has. That's all our community property and all my personal items that he held hostage. The ones he lied and told me he got rid off. The things that I had before I met him that he is using in his new apartment. I said he could keep it all, so that we could go ahead and get a partial judgment and be divorced already! Jason's attorney said he was going to prepare it, but of course that never happened. Jason filed for divorce, and since he wanted to be divorced so bad I would think he would be jumping at the opportunity to get divorced as soon as possible. Especially when I'm telling him he can keep all the stuff! So why isn't he jumping? Abusers want to have their ties on you for as long as they can, so he doesn't want to break it by getting a divorce. He is a classic narcissist. If only I had known these people existed earlier so I could have seen the signs. I literally feel like I am married to a demon. I am disgusted by the fact that I'm married to this guy. I wish there was some way to just erase it from my past. He never deserved me and just the fact that he gets to say he was married to me irks my soul.

Oh, so at the hearing, Jason's attorney wanted to bring up the fact that I haven't given Jason the kid's medical records. So, I let the judge know that Jason and I are SUPPOSED to have joint legal custody, and yet, I am not allowed to have a say in the children's lives. We are supposed to make decisions together, and this does not occur. Also, I have asked both Jason and his attorney for information about the children, and they both repeatedly ignore my request. Jason went and selected a 2 star rated doctor for our children over my objection. So no, I am not giving him their medical information for him to go take to some low rated doctor behind my back when we are supposed to chose a doctor together. I informed the attorney that when we select a doctor together, like we are supposed to, then I would be more than happy to give that doctor the information. The criminal Steven through a minor fit, claiming that this was an emergency and I HAD to give Jason the information right then. Insert dramatic sigh here. He is such a clown. How is it an emergency?? Then, when the judge thought what I said was reasonable, the criminal asked well what if there was an emergency tomorrow? So, I told the judge that first off all, Jason and I could come to an agreement that same day, or, if there was an emergency, the doctor could call and get the information from me. So, that resolved that. Those two are a pair made in hell. Here's a thought, maybe they can marry each other when my divorce is finalized!

So to recap, I got a new judge and have a trial next month! Hopefully this whole nightmare is done then. I'm looking for narcissist repellent so that I don't keep attracting them. I think I'm going to have to run all potential second husbands by my new community so we can make sure I don't marry another crazy person.

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

The Narcissist Moose and His lovely Victim

While I have been going through my own journey of divorcing my narcissistic ex, I have gotten to know so many amazing people who are oh have been in similar situations. One of these amazing humans that are now a part of my community has starting sharing her own story with the world. She has been through some crazy stuff with her narcissistic ex Moose and I am so excited that she is opening up her life to all of us and publicizing the monster that has tormented her soul. She has recently gotten divorced and is finally free to share her life with us all! Please check out her story by clicking the link below and show her some support!

Confessions of a Healing Freak

Monday, August 5, 2019

How To Survive The Narcissist Apocalypse

A little while back, I talked about my experience with my narcissistic ex, Jason Ward, his unethical/criminal attorney, Steven Chroman, and the biased judge, David Risen, on the How To Survive The Narcissist Apocalypse. The episode is now live and you can all listen to it by clicking the link below!

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Pretend Love

Jason would treat me like crap, and after doing so, he would sometimes do something like this. This mostly happened in the beginning of our marriage. By the end, he didn't try to pretend much that he cared. We were only married for 3 months when these messages were sent, and I was 5 months pregnant with our son. This was around the time when things got completely horrible. Look at how quickly he went from I love you to I don't want to be sour like you.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

The Criminal Steven Chroman

I went to court on Monday on an ex-parte request because Jason and his attorney Steven Chroman have been attempting to alienate me from the kids. I guess since our next hearing is scheduled for October, they thought they could prevent me from seeing and being in contact with our kids during the next five months, and then in October they could claim the kids don't have a relationship with me. I honestly have been thinking that Steven is a narcissist too. I don't know him well enough to know for sure, but he definitely demonstrates narcissistic behavior.

Anyways, before court on Monday, I was seating on a bench and Steven was standing across from me, talking to another attorney. He was talking about me and about the case. He was telling him how I kept trying to get the kids back to Georgia, but  California has jurisdiction. He was also telling him how I have been posting online about him, the judge and Jason, how I have been calling Jason a narcissist, etc. And, he tells him that I am attorney and that I've only practiced for six months. I don't remember the rest of the statements made by him. But I was surprised that he would boldly talk about the case in front of me to a third party. I am not sure if it was on purpose. Maybe he was attempting to intimidate me? Or, maybe he didn't recognize me? I mean, my hair is different. But either way, this guy is the most unethical attorney I've personally met in my life. Like I've already been saying, he needs to be disbarred.

Narcissists are Shallow

For most of our marriage, I was a stay at home mom. Jason took care of our family financially. I made the decision to stay home with our children until I felt comfortable with leaving them in the care of someone else. It was the best decision for our family at the time, even though Jason did not make enough money to financially support our family of four and I was capable of making way more money than he made. Even though we were struggling financially, Jason spend a lot of money on his own physical appearance. He never wanted to spend money for things we needed as a family or for our two babies, but he had no problem spending thousands of dollars to improve his physical appearance. We barely spent money on food because he didn't want to. Necessities were not prioritized by him. He would cringe at the price of groceries, but wouldn't blink an eye when it came to spending thousands of dollars to improve his physical appearance.

Jason had a small canine on one side of his month and a missing canine on the other side which left a small space between his teeth. It wasn't really obvious to others unless he told them about it, but it really bothered him. He talked about it a lot. Then, he decided to have the one small canine removed, and to get braces. He also had all his wisdom teeth removed at that time. He spent thousands of dollars on his teeth to fix something that was barely noticeable and cosmetic. That money could and should have gone towards our new baby and our new family. Instead, he was willing to put our family in more debt so he could have his perfect teeth. It was completely unnecessary and not something we could afford. He gave me an estimate of how long he would have braces for and I believe in the beginning he mentioned the price it was supposed to cost. He has had braces for way longer than he claimed he would and the price was a lot more than he initially claimed. While we were still together, I questioned him about his braces not yet being removed and he claimed he never told me that he would only have it for whatever the time frame he gave me was. Back then, I did not realize he was a narcissist so I had no idea he purposefully lied about everything.  I didn't have a say in the decisions about improving his mouth of course, or in all the money he was spending. I have no idea how much he spent on that or anything else for that matter. I had no idea how much debt he even had, and how much he had been spending, until recently when I received his documents for our divorce case. He didn't feel the need to disclose anything to me. After all, it was his money and he could do with it as he pleased.

While we were together, Jason got a cyst of his forehead. He said he had gotten some of those previously. This one wasn't going away as fast as he wanted it to, even though he kept on messing with it and trying to get rid of it. I didn't think it was a big deal. I thought it would eventually go away, but even if it didn't, it wasn't something that really stood out and it wasn't something that needed immediate attention. To Jason, it was destroying his beautiful face so he went and had it surgically removed.

Jason is balding. His hair was already thinning when I met him, and you could already tell that he would go bald at the front of his head. This of course isn't taken well by Jason. First, he tried to blame me for his balding. I told him that was ridiculous as he was already balding when I met him. He claimed he wasn't and that it was my fault. He's been attempting to find ways to stop the balding or regrow the hair. I even helped him. I did lots of research and bought him products that worked for others. It was such a big issue for him that I wanted to help. He would try to disguise it by growing out the front of his hair longer than the other parts. When his hair is longer, it's definitely harder to tell. The last times I saw him, his hair was short and his balding was very obvious. I'm not sure if he's now accepting it for what it is and just letting it happen. But, I would highly doubt it as he was so concerned about it. He thinks his head shape is ugly so he doesn't want to be without hair. 

He also thinks his chin is ugly so he won't ever shave off all of his facial hair. He always keeps at least some hair on his chin, like a goatee. He claims he looks horrible when all the hair on his face is shaved off. I have never seen him without any facial hair since he refuses to remove it all. I can't imagine how devastated he would be if he is no longer able to keep his hair on his head or on his face. I get that people have their insecurities, but I think for narcissists it's more extreme. Maybe they know that their soul is empty so all they have are their looks. It's fine to attempt to look your best and it's fine to make improvements if it would make you feel better or cover up things you are not so happy about. But, what isn't fine is for that to be prioritized over your kids or your family or your bills, etc.

When I first met Jason, he  was in great physical shape. He spent a lot of time making sure he looked good physically. He didn't maintain this while we were together, and he then of course blamed me for him no longer being as fit as he used to be. He used to love all the complements he got about his body. When he stopped working out, he would lose his muscles and gain fat. He would then put himself on a strict diet for a while and start to work out again to try to regain his ideal body. 

Jason would obsess over my body too. When I got pregnant, he got really concerned that I would not lose the baby weight. He tried very hard to convince me to work out during and after my pregnancy. I told him I knew my body and knew I would lose the pregnancy weight. I wasn't concerned about it. But he was. He was afraid that I would become obese like his family members. His mom and his sister are really big, and he didn't want me to become like them. I have always been small and I have never needed to work out and I wasn't going to be forced to work out while I was pregnant. But, he kept trying to persuade me. Then, after I had our baby and lost all the weight after a few weeks, he started making fun of my stomach. He would call me saggy, grab on to the fat, point at me and laugh, etc. He was trying to convince me to work out to tighten up my stomach to it's before baby firmness. I guess he thought it was appropriate to make fun of his wife's body right after she had a baby to shame her into working out. That was an area I refused to be manipulated in. I wasn't going to feel shame about a body that had just brought new life into the world. This was my experience during and after both of my pregnancies. 

I have read that narcissists are afraid of aging. I could see that with Jason. He wants very badly to hold on to the body of his youth. He also always would talk about how he was going to die young. I didn't understand this and still don't. Sometimes he claimed it was because I was stressing him out. I don't know if he still makes those comments as I do not communicate with him except about our babies. Hey, maybe now that I am no longer there to stress him out, he will want to live to be a hundred years.

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Joint Legislative Oversight Hearing of the Commission on Judicial Performance

Public Comments begin around 2 hrs 50 mins

On June 12, 2019, there occurred a Joint Legislative Oversight Hearing after an audit was conducted of the Commission on Judicial Performance (CJP). The CJP is responsible for handling judicial complaints in California. The audit showed that there were a lot of issues within the CJP which allowed judicial misconduct to persist. I truly appreciated the fact that this hearing occurred. This was the first audit of the CJP in its entire existence.

In my personal experience with the CJP, my complaint against my corrupt judge, David Rosen, was closed because it supposedly didn't discuss misconduct but instead discussed my dissatisfaction with his rulings. This was not the case, but this is the typical response to most of the complaints filed. During the hearing, it was mentioned that 90 percent of the complaints are closed for that reason. Even though the public have not been informed about what makes a valid complaint, it is very unlikely that so many people filed complaints against judges just because they were dissatisfied. Had more complaints been investigated, I am sure that more complaints would have proven to be valid.

I believe some great points were made at the hearing. I especially enjoyed the public comments and I am happy that members of the public were allowed to speak. There was some blind defending of judges done which made it seem like some of these professionals are completely ignorant as to what actually happens in the courtroom. But, overall, it was a great discussion and hopefully change will come from it.